So it has begun... going to the gym to work off the 7 months of winter I endured. I feel proud of going through such crap weather as Montana has the third highest suicide rate in the nation, and I don't think I'm alone when I say that if Montana had to go through one more month of it, we would have all been dead... But good thing Spring is here! After an orgy of food the cold weather came with, so did a few extra pounds, and now I'm at the gym listening to a bull shit conversation between a "boxer" and a guy from India who apparently is a fan of his. Now what makes this situation notable is the "boxer" is talking to his "fan" and they are having a back and forth conversation, all the way up til the "boxer" takes off his towel and flops his cock about... conversation ended. No more words, the "fan" stopped conversing back
. It got me to thinking, what a great way to get out of any conversation. Some people say to grab a
Twix, but I say save a dollar and grab your penis. For example: "So why are you working at
DirecTV if you have a degree?" Then, remove your pants and say "Well if you have time I'll explain." Done, no more conversation. Thank. God. No explanation needed. Or, maybe you had too much to drink and decided to drive, you get pulled over, and the police man says, "Have you had anything to drink?" Immediately drop
trou, "Oh excuse me, you have a goodnight sir." See? Flawless, no one wants to talk, interview, play badminton, go hiking, with a guy with no pants. I'm not endorsing for people to go out and flash anyone, it has to be strategic and only in emergencies, like pepper spray. Speaking of which... if one could somehow drop the pants AND pepper spray that would ideal, in fact that would be preferred. I might be onto something here. If I could fashion a product I think I'd call it, flash pants, or pepper dick, or peter picked a peck of pickled go fuck yourself! Really any of those will work. Seriously though, how shocked would that guy be if you were walking down the street and a hobo starts to attack you, and you unzip your pants; first of all he wouldn't know what the hell you're doing, he doesn't know what's going on, AND THEN you spray pepper from what Jesus gave you! Then you could say an 80's action film
tag line like, "There's your change, will work for spicy food." I mean right?! You'd probably be leaving that situation with the Hobo's money, and his hot sandwich, depending. Serves him right. Now, don't think I forgot about you ladies out there. I know what you're thinking, "But I don't have a penis." True. For this very reason I have thought of several products, I got the v-spray, the PMS (Pepper Man Spray) or The Sentence
Ender. I'll let you figure that one out. Well this has been productive, I'm glad we had this talk. Stay safe, and if you get into a bad conversation or
heightened escalation, you know what to do. Good day to you.
. It got me to thinking, what a great way to get out of any conversation. Some people say to grab a Twix, but I say save a dollar and grab your penis. For example: "So why are you working at DirecTV if you have a degree?" Then, remove your pants and say "Well if you have time I'll explain." Done, no more conversation. Thank. God. No explanation needed. Or, maybe you had too much to drink and decided to drive, you get pulled over, and the police man says, "Have you had anything to drink?" Immediately drop trou, "Oh excuse me, you have a goodnight sir." See? Flawless, no one wants to talk, interview, play badminton, go hiking, with a guy with no pants. I'm not endorsing for people to go out and flash anyone, it has to be strategic and only in emergencies, like pepper spray. Speaking of which... if one could somehow drop the pants AND pepper spray that would ideal, in fact that would be preferred. I might be onto something here. If I could fashion a product I think I'd call it, flash pants, or pepper dick, or peter picked a peck of pickled go fuck yourself! Really any of those will work. Seriously though, how shocked would that guy be if you were walking down the street and a hobo starts to attack you, and you unzip your pants; first of all he wouldn't know what the hell you're doing, he doesn't know what's going on, AND THEN you spray pepper from what Jesus gave you! Then you could say an 80's action film tag line like, "There's your change, will work for spicy food." I mean right?! You'd probably be leaving that situation with the Hobo's money, and his hot sandwich, depending. Serves him right. Now, don't think I forgot about you ladies out there. I know what you're thinking, "But I don't have a penis." True. For this very reason I have thought of several products, I got the v-spray, the PMS (Pepper Man Spray) or The Sentence Ender. I'll let you figure that one out. Well this has been productive, I'm glad we had this talk. Stay safe, and if you get into a bad conversation or heightened escalation, you know what to do. Good day to you.
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