Moving tomorrow on the train

Ok, so tomorrow I go on the train in Whitefish at 7am to chicago for a fulfilling 31 hr train ride. I won't have any internet that I know of, so this will be my last post before I get to another wifi spot somewhere in lincoln park. Ok so here's a run down of tomorrow, I have a total of 10 bags, 3 will go on as a carry on, and 6 will be checked, and 1 will go with my brother lou who is traveling with me.

The most stressful part of this, is the uncertainty that I may not be able to check all 6 of those bags, (which contains everything I need to have in my apartment minimally) since the train is sold out and I was told I may not be able to check a lot of bags due to the fact that there are 130 people trying to board at whitefish, and the sooner I get there to check my bags, the better. I'll see what happens tomorrow and if I have to mail anything. This is just about my worst blog so far, boring, bland and stupid. So I will spice it up with a new game I came up with called bojangles. Here's how you play:

1st you need to find a field, preferably one that is owned by someone as it plays into the desperation you'll need to properly play. Now before I go to far, you can play bojangles two ways, one with a shotgun, one without. You'll understand soon what I'm talking about. I'll do the with shotgun version first. Ok, so first find a field owned by someone, maybe someone you don't like because what you're going to do is have a buddy time you and start the clock when you take a cow bell and shake it real hard and scream "bojangles"! and then followed by running 20 yards and taking a shit as fast as you can in the field. Step 2, when you're done dumping take a shotgun and fire off a shot to let your buddy know to stop the clock, and then run away. You can do this several times and see who gets the best time, and try not to get shot yourself, because part of bojangles includes a getaway. Pretty much be creative and just try to get the ef out of there before you get tea bagged by the owner of the property that you just layed your filth on.

Now the second way to play with NO SHOTGUN: The clock starts when you start running 20 yards, take a shit and then complete the timed adventure by running to a cowbell screaming "bojangels"! at which point the clock would stop. I would recommend this version for beginners, as a shotgun really escalates the adrenaline defecation, and you can probably get more than one game out in one day, and not get charged with possession of a deadly weapon.

I'm thinking I'll have to take photos and revisit bojangles for WOW, and actually attempt to do this. This would just put the buckle challenge to shame, that is of course unless you take a nice stanley steamer in the Buckle, which wouldn't be such a horrible thing, just matter of fact, especially if you put a hundred dollar bill in the human poo pile then it would be just like the buckle, over priced shit! hardy har har, I'm gonna go kill myself.

Christmas the new xmas, but is one x really enough?

Xxxmas, (said triple x mas) I think I speak for all my followers at this blog (none) that it would be great to get just a little bit more in my american xxxmas. Usually I have a Gmas or a pg-13mas when we deliver wine to our neighbors as a friendly gesture or when Mom swears at the dogs when the door bell rings. However yelling expletives while slapping some naked skin or getting a note from the neighbors how they used that wine to "enhance their marriage" with a drunken motivated penetration is what I prefer, but I think a good taint lick from santa clause's wife outta do the trick to make my xxxmas complete, satisfying, and running to the bathroom to wash my hands afterward.
If you're offended then maybe you should've asked santa for earmuffs... for your muff, because you will definitely not be apart of my xxxmas. But then again how xxx am I with planet green on in the background sitting in my moms basement surround by cat toys? I feel like this is either the setting for a fetish European adult film, an area to NEVER have sex in, or even more depressing, reality, this is reality. My estrogen levels are starting to rise and my testicles are slowly receding, like my hair... Time to look up some porn. You see? I need a certain someone to make me feel awesome and dirty, like santa gets when he "goes up that chimney" and who said they never realized that dirty san-ta is but the root word for dirty san-chez.

Christmas was great, we had a good time with family and a lot of dollar store gifts. This year I got off cheap, $19 for presents! Afterwards we had a great time jumping in the wrapping paper and a warm friendly meal of halibut! Later I thought about masturbating but fell asleep instead. Oh and Vin Diesel was there, merry xxxmas!

My first blog for moving to Chicago

Hello one and all, this first blog will be short. I decided to start a blog in order to document my time in Chicago as I attend comedy school. Hurray for me. A quick rundown to get you all caught up as to what's happening to said Winkler. I am moving to chicago a day before new years where I am bringin my brother Lou with me to help me move via train like the transient I am, or as Professor Randy Bolton would like to say dirty rotten street person. Anyways, I am moving there to go to second city for a comedy writing program that lasts about a year and a half. I have an apartment in lincoln park that I scored for 700 a month but according to online reviews of my property management I am going to be living in my own filth. We shall see how that goes and I'll elaborate later I'm sure. Also, since I'm moving by train I am bringing every single suitcase with me, since one can have up to 8 suitcases on that silver tube we know as amtrak. Today is Sun. and on tues. it'll be my last day at work, and the last day before I can empty out my apartment by wed. Yeah yeah yeah, it's quick, but that's basically it, I'm retardedly busy and need to find a job in Chicago or else Im screwed. So like in a turtle race we will slowly see what happens here.