Xxxmas, (said triple x mas) I think I speak for all my followers at this blog (none) that it would be great to get just a little bit more in my american xxxmas. Usually I have a Gmas or a pg-13mas when we deliver wine to our neighbors as a friendly gesture or when Mom swears at the dogs when the door bell rings. However yelling expletives while slapping some naked skin or getting a note from the neighbors how they used that wine to "enhance their marriage" with a drunken motivated penetration is what I prefer, but I think a good taint lick from santa clause's wife outta do the trick to make my xxxmas complete, satisfying, and running to the bathroom to wash my hands afterward.
If you're offended then maybe you should've asked santa for earmuffs... for your muff, because you will definitely not be apart of my xxxmas. But then again how xxx am I with planet green on in the background sitting in my moms basement surround by cat toys? I feel like this is either the setting for a fetish European adult film, an area to NEVER have sex in, or even more depressing, reality, this is reality. My estrogen levels are starting to rise and my testicles are slowly receding, like my hair... Time to look up some porn. You see? I need a certain someone to make me feel awesome and dirty, like santa gets when he "goes up that chimney" and who said they never realized that dirty san-ta is but the root word for dirty san-chez.
Christmas was great, we had a good time with family and a lot of dollar store gifts. This year I got off cheap, $19 for presents! Afterwards we had a great time jumping in the wrapping paper and a warm friendly meal of halibut! Later I thought about masturbating but fell asleep instead. Oh and Vin Diesel was there, merry xxxmas!
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